The Curry Bible has entered its second year of taking curry far too seriously—and our 13th official review introduced both a new member and a new name at the very bottom of the leaderboard.
On 26 July 2026, Damon, Jack, Hamish, Luke and Louis headed to the Dower House Restaurant in Bawtry. Joining them for the first time was Connor, making his Curry Bible debut and bringing the evening’s attendance to six.
It was a smaller gathering than usual, and we were seated in the restaurant’s quiet back room. There was only one other occupied table, where a family were peacefully enjoying their evening. The lighting was low, the room was almost silent, and six Curry Bible members suddenly realised that they would have to be on their best behaviour.
Frankly, the night was already in trouble—and nobody had even ordered yet.
A promisingly easy order
Luckily, we had already studied the menu. Three members had chosen the same main course, four wanted the same drink, and everything appeared simple enough.
Our spirits began to rise. Perhaps the quiet room would not matter. Perhaps this would turn into a surprisingly good night.
Then the drinks arrived.
Or, more accurately, most of the drinks arrived.
Damon’s was completely missing. After asking for it again, another ten minutes passed before it finally appeared. By the time Damon received his first drink, new member Connor was already drinking his second.
Not exactly a flawless start to the Curry Bible’s new season.
Fortunately, the drinks service did improve after that initial mess. Every member eventually had two drinks, and the later orders arrived without the same disappearing act. The scores still reflected that poor opening, but at least nobody else had to watch Connor lap them twice.
Poppadoms saved by the poppadoms
Next came the poppadoms and pickle trays.
The poppadoms themselves were good. They had a pleasant texture, held together properly and were not so brittle that they exploded across the table upon contact.
The pickle tray, however, was a major disappointment. It looked basic, felt uninspired and belonged more in a backstreet café than alongside the prices being charged at the Dower House.
The poppadoms had done their part. Their supporting cast had not.
“THIS RICE HAS COME OUT OF A PACKET!”
Three members ordered the Naga, presented as one of the hotter options on the menu. That should have produced three sweating foreheads, three damaged digestive systems and at least one poor decision involving a pint of lager.
Instead, it produced three disappointed faces.
The promised heat and impact were not there. It was not completely inedible, but it failed to deliver the fiery, flavour-packed experience expected from a Naga.
Then Hamish tried the rice.
What followed was the loudest moment heard in that back room all evening:
“THIS RICE HAS COME OUT OF A PACKET!”
Whether it literally had or not, that was Hamish’s immediate verdict—and when rice costs more than £5, it should never leave a customer thinking it tastes like something reheated from a supermarket pouch.
Taste was not universally condemned. Luke awarded an impressive 8.2, while Connor scored it 7 and Hamish gave 6.8. Jack, Louis and Damon were considerably less enthusiastic, meaning the food clearly landed very differently across the table.
The Keema Naan was arguably the highlight of the meal, which sounds positive until we point out that it was average at best. When the naan is the evening’s main culinary achievement, the curry house has a problem.
A £46.23 reality check
The final blow arrived with the bill.
A poppadom, starter, Naga, rice, naan and two drinks came to £46.23.
That is an extraordinary amount for what was received. We regularly order an almost identical meal elsewhere for approximately £25—and often get twice the quality with it.
The value scores tell the story brutally. Jack gave 2, Louis and Connor gave 3, Damon gave 3, while Luke and Hamish both awarded just 1.
Across all six reviewers, the average value-for-money score was only 2.17/10. Service performed little better at 2.88/10.
Those are not minor weaknesses. They are the two categories that dragged the entire evening down.
We did find some positives
In the interests of fairness, the Dower House did have a few strong points.
The bar looked nice. The car park had a lovely sign. The entrance was also extremely easy to locate, thanks largely to a sign displaying the word “ENTRANCE” and pointing directly towards it.
There is no chance of getting lost on the way inside.
Whether you will be pleased that you found it is another matter.
Every Curry Bible score
| Reviewer | Menu choice | Service | Taste | Drinks | Value for money | Average |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jack | 5.4 | 2.3 | 5.3 | 3 | 2 | 3.60 |
| Louis | 6 | 5 | 4.5 | 5 | 3 | 4.70 |
| Luke | 6.5 | 2 | 8.2 | 5 | 1 | 4.54 |
| Connor | 6 | 2 | 7 | 5 | 3 | 4.60 |
| Damon | 8 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 3 | 5.20 |
| Hamish | 7 | 2 | 6.8 | 7 | 1 | 4.76 |
Combined category averages
| Category | Combined average |
|---|---|
| Menu choice | 6.48/10 |
| Service | 2.88/10 |
| Taste | 6.13/10 |
| Drinks | 5.17/10 |
| Value for money | 2.17/10 |
Currier of the Month — Hamish
Hamish wins Currier of the Month with three votes.
Reason 1: “It gonna vote for myself but hamish chose same curry as me. No one did anything crazy. So just went with that xoxo”
Reason 2: “True gent, designated driver, killed a pigeon.”
Reason 3: “Good cunt”
The remaining Currier of the Month votes were split between Louis, Jack and Connor.
Louis — 1 vote
Reason: “Everyone else did one bad thing but Louis was Louis never bad that guy so well done for being you!”
Jack — 1 vote
Reason: “The only person not to do anything wrong!”
Connor — 1 vote
Reason: “Everyone was very pleasant and I enjoyed everyone’s company but Connor edged it by getting squid for the starter – a curry club first.”
Curry Cunt — Connor
Connor wins Curry Cunt with two votes.
Reason 1: “He was just a straight up cunty cunt!”
Reason 2: “Nothing against him personally and I don’t think anyone deserves it this month..but the middle fingers to everyone was unnecessary”
The remaining Curry Cunt votes were divided between Damon, Luke, Jack and the completely absent Oliver.
Damon — 1 vote
Reason: “Telling the waiter mid service that he ordered rice and not able to pronounce cobra so everyone thought he said cola. Also didn’t do a speech”
Luke — 1 vote
Reason: “Everyone apart from Louis did one thing bad but Luke was first by dropping a load of his pickle tray on table, made me question if it was this guys first curry”
Jack — 1 vote
Reason: “No starter mental.”
Oliver — 1 vote
Reason: “He wasnt there the prick”
The Curry Bible verdict
This is not us declaring that every meal served by the Dower House will be poor. We can only judge the restaurant on the experience placed in front of us—and our experience fell well short.
The opening drinks service was painfully slow, the pickle tray was underwhelming, the Naga disappointed those who ordered it, the rice sparked an accusation that could probably be heard from the car park, and the final bill was completely out of step with the quality received.
There were isolated positives, and some members clearly enjoyed the taste of their meals more than others. However, respectable menu and taste scores could not rescue service and value scores that had already collapsed.
With a final Curry Bible score of 4.57/10, the Dower House enters the leaderboard below Shimla’s 4.92 and becomes the lowest-rated restaurant from our first 13 official curry tests.
A new Curry Bible year has begun.
Unfortunately for the Dower House, it has begun at the bottom.
Final Curry Bible Score: 4.57/10
